"Four of us wolves, running around the desert together," - Alan Garner-The Hangover

Someone in a Mini Cooper waved at me today. I must admit, I was a bit caught off guard - I was not in my little hometown; I did not expect to get a honk from someone I knew. I was also driving well - on a state road, fast but not too fast, and I had not pulled out in front of anyone or taken their parking space. Then I realized it was because we were BOTH in Minis. Of course, all of this thinking took place instantly, and once I recovered, I eagerly waved back from my own Coop and then - vroom vroom - downshifted. Apparently, as I was contemplating how to respond, I had pulled my foot off the accelerator. I happily sped along the road thinking of how nice it was to be part of this little club of people who were absolutely confident enough in their skin to drive tiny, toy, clown cars and wave proudly at others who were short enough to fit in the front seats!

I have been privy to the "club" wave a couple of times before. I have had a Jeep Wrangler - hands on steering wheel, raise one or two fingers and lift head - and I own (but rarely ride) a Harley Sportster - left hand, two fingers in an upsidedown "V", down below the waist. These are standard and pretty well-known greetings, and they bring the people of these groups together. It shows a camaraderie among like-minded people - a sort of, "Hi, friend! You are one of us! Stay safe. Keep on, and if you need anything, I am your guy. I got you." You are part of a group. A pack.

A tribe.

We are all part of different tribes, to some extent. Some tribes are better than others (I gotta say, the Jeep and Harley waves are WAY cooler than the Mini Cooper wave, such as it is). Tribes are not unique to humans. Primates, elephants, lions, wolves, and dolphins are examples of animals that live together in groups. The earliest example of humans forming group living arrangements dates back to the Paleolithic era about, 2.6 million years ago. Humans lived as hunter-gatherers and would group together around kinship ties and social bonds. The tribe would work together to hunt for food, gather resources, and provide protection, support, and socialization.

We haven't changed that much in 2.6 million years. We still form tribes. Most of us have many tribes based on different and sometimes overlapping needs. We are born into some tribes - our families are the first tribes we are a part of, some are for protection - just like that saber-toothed tiger was less likely to attack 20 Neolithic men than just a lone hunter and bullies like to pick on one individual than a pack; some for support -

communes form in support of ideological beliefs; some for socialization and shared interest - car clubs, book clubs, and running groups.

"Who'll join my tribe and have fun?" - Jack from Lord of the Flies (sorry, old habits)

Some are more productive than others. Jack begins as part of the tribe tasked with providing food and protection from "the beast" on the island and ends up dissolving the unity of the group, becoming a dangerous menace to the fragile society in his murderous quest for power (and blood). Some family tribes are toxic and abusive. Some tribes that begin as a social or protective group turn violent - gangs.

But let's talk about the good tribes. The ones we are born into or choose ourselves that protect, support, and socialize us. These are the ones that sustain us, the ones that lift us up out of a pit we find ourselves in, the ones that encourage us, laugh with us (or at us when we need it), and cry with us. The ones that lead the cheers for us when we succeed and kick our butts when we do something ridiculous. These are family or as close as family. These are the tribes we need, the tribes we keep, the tribes we love. These are the ones that keep us breathing.

For me, these tribes are my family and my friends. My parents, sister, aunts, uncles, and cousins. I hit the family jackpot. I am so blessed that the Universe placed me with the most amazing group of people on the planet. We are not perfect, but there is no doubt that every one of us is cheering for each other. Family holidays are huge and loud and full of laughter. Weddings are crazy! Random dinners to celebrate joys and commiserate in sorrows pop up all the time. I have a cousin that I hadn't seen in decades. We sat together on a plane on the way to a funeral, and it was as if no time had passed. An aunt and cousin across the country (I had only met the cousin once - and she was 4!) opened their homes and hearts to me when I traveled out to visit my daughter. And then there is my immediate family...I have no words. I can't even begin to describe them and their unconditional love. (If Karma and/or reincarnation are things, I was a saint in a past life to end up with these people.) They are my rocks. They are constant ("I am constant as the Northern Star." damned English teacher residual habits!) They are the-no questions-I am here for you - you are good and worthy - how can I be there for you - tribe. Can't type for a minute - starting to get "faklempt."

"I need your help. I can't tell you what it is, you can never ask me about it later, and we're gonna hurt some people."

"Whose car we gonna take?"

These are the women I chose as my tribe. My "people". The ones who know where the bodies are because they helped me bury them! The ones laughing hysterically when I fall on my face but are doing it as they are helping me up. The ones who bring me coffee. chocolate and caramel flavored anything when I am down - or happy (or tired, or sitting, or standing...really just anytime!) The ones who travel together and laugh and cry and yell and sing and dance (and fall in puddles of water). The ones who will live with me in my commune when we are too old to remember our names (and will just answer to anything we call each other). The ones whose children's pee-wee soccer games we sit through, and school fundraiser candy we buy (but really, do I ever need a reason to buy chocolate-covered caramel clusters?). The ones who can be gone for years and fall right back into the conversation the day they get back (much like every soap opera ever on TV!) The ones who are there, ready to kick the ass of anyone who hurts us - and they mean it, too; the shovel and roll of plastic are in the trunk. These are the ones who fulfill all the areas - protection, support, and socialization. Nope, they aren't perfect either, but they are perfect for me, and we are perfect for each other.

"You can't do anything alone. Find your tribe, and never, ever let them go." -Gru. (for such a "despicable" guy, he seems awfully sentimental and insightful...)

I gotta go. My sister is having issues with someone, and I am in charge of the shovel...

(spelling and punctuation issues part of the GIF. Sorry)